Who will help Nigerian Military?

 Tukur Buratai: Nigerian Army Chief

The Nigerian Military authorities who are daily being worsted by insurgents, bandits and terrorists have made an important discovery. If you ask me, the discovery is worthy of a Nobel Prize though not for peace.

To wit, after a careful study begun after the 2015 Elections, they are happy to announce that they have found the source of the funding of the insurgents who are making our military a

mockery and a poor imitation of those like Obj who fought in the Congo, Liberia and the Nigerian Civil war.

It is believed that Philosophers have discovered the world but the problem is to change it. Having discovered to the eternal credit of the Sandhurst trained Nigerian Military that the insurgency is being funded from proceeds of illegal mining, the problem then is finding local hunters fearless enough to lead the Military to the Mines to take over and cut off the supplies of the insurgents. 

Personally I know some local hunters who can do the job but the problem is that they do not travel far from their medicine pots.

I suggest the Military use the El Rufai formula of bribing the insurgents to return to Libya or wherever they came from or better still legitimize their mining, grant them Nigerian citizenship and guarantee of a number of seats in our Legislature  enough to ensure no stubborn President tries to revoke the arrangement.

This way the Nigerian Military will revert to their glory days when they were respected but for being too impatient with politicians to stay out of politics.

This suggestion may not go down well with the Political class because my Political Science 101 teacher in the University in spite of the fact that the Military Government of Obj had warned lecturers to keep away from politics told us that civilian regimes prefer to equip the Police than soldiers lest soldiers have other ideas. So the civil authorities would neither acknowledge my brilliant suggestions nor try them. Rather, they would prefer to let the soldiers stew in their own juice.

The problem is that like an elderly lady once reminded me, these soldiers like the Police we love to hate also belong to families that prefer them alive than dead.